Lesson from my hairdresser on making the connection

My mother always said a woman needs two things; a comfortable pair of shoes and a good haircut. She was right, particularly if your hairdresser happens to be a management guru.

My hairdresser is just that. Aside from the obvious hairdressing skills she is a communicator par excellence. She makes a very real and personal connection with each and every one of her clients. And it shows - she has a large and loyal following. I am always royally entertained by her insights and comments. Her latest story is a gem I must share.

My hairdresser has a client (we will call her Jill), who works for a large high tech multinational. She is happy and motivated and loves what she does. But Jill is becoming increasingly irritated by the number of telephone conference calls she is asked to participate in by colleagues across North American.

Jill, who is resourceful, (and has great hair), has figured out how to deal with conference calls; she simply gets on with her work. If there is a pause in the conversation or she hears her name, she says something along the lines of: "I'm sorry you just cut out, would you mind repeating the last sentence."

Smart cookie our Jill. Turns out she's not alone. Jill was at a convention and met with colleagues from across North America. She discovered many of them were doing the same thing.

So what's going on when half the people involved in a continental teleconference are tuning out and putting their creative talents into the 'opt out' process?

Perhaps the person who convened the conference call didn't think through the invitation list; perhaps he or she was tying too hard to be inclusive. Maybe Jill should have said no. Was she afraid her voice would be lost if she didn't participate? Or worse, afraid that people would think she was not a team player? I'm sure all the above are contributing factors.

The technology doesn't improve matters. What with email calendaring, teleconferencing and videoconferencing it's almost too easy to schedule a meeting. Evidence the fact that our calendars are overloaded. Technology is so seductive, it promises so much. And yet once we are over the hurdle of setting up the telephone call, the video or online conference - it's hard to feel connected.

With teams operating around the globe it's easy for employees to feel disengaged, particularly if their interfacing with technology rather than a human being. I wonder how Jill would have handled things if she had a personal relationship with the meeting chair. A personal connection may have allowed her to be honest and say "no I'm not going to be available - I'm too busy - if you need my voice please find another way to connect with me."

My hairdresser will tell you that connecting with people is important and only once you have the connection can you be honest. This explains why, despite my entreaties, I am not ash blonde this summer.

I'd be interested in your thoughts. Send me an email and I will publish your responses in this blog.